How I would write Divergent...

My last post displayed my thoughts on Divergent by Veronica Roth, but I didn't to show how I would improve the book.

I think imagery specifically needs to be improved. It was sometimes hard to grasp the words on the page. If I were to change anything about the book, it would be the diction and syntax choices.

The quote I chose to show in my last post was:

"I approach one of the fallen guards and take his gun, keeping my eyes away from the injury that killed him. My head pounds. I haven't eaten; I haven't slept; I haven't sobbed or screamed or even paused for a moment. I bit my lip and push myself toward the elevators on the right side of the room. Level eight." (Roth 470)

These are my improvements of the above paragraph.
the first sentence:
I keep my focus on the gun; the splotchy, brown-red patch stamped on the motionless guard in my peripheral. 

The key (in my opinion, of course) is to go into detail about a particular object. It could be the gun, the guard, ect. I focused on the injury.

Second sentence:
My heartbeat is coming from my skull. Sleep-deprived. Sleep. I need sleep, and maybe something to put in my vacant stomach.

I improved this sentence by varying the lengths of the sentences (syntax). "Maybe" is an understatement (figurative language)

Third sentence:
Wearily, I wonder to the elevator, biting my lip. I press '8' with a shaky finger.

I wanted the reader to understand the shock Tris was in after the event that had just happened, which wasn't really included in the original.

Finally... The End

I have just finished Divergent.

I started reading it because I have heard really great things about it and my friends recommended I read it. Not to mention, I wanted to read the book before I saw the movie...

TO BE VERY, VERY HONEST
I didn't like the book. I thought that the storyline was creative and action-packed, but Veronica Roth let me down. Again, I have to give her credit for the storyline (Kudos to you, Veronica!), but at the same time, I have to acknowledge that there wasn't much to hold on to in the book. By that, I mean imagery.

It was the one thing that I thought this book was missing. Now, if you picked up the book and read a small section, you would find that all the events were laid out in short, to-the-point sentences, like it says here...

"I approach one of the fallen guards and take his gun, keeping my eyes away from the injury that killed him. My head pounds. I haven't eaten; I haven't slept; I haven't sobbed or screamed or even paused for a moment. I bit my lip and push myself toward the elevators on the right side of the room. Level eight." (Roth 470)

'How can you say there isn't imagery?'

When I read this paragraph, it sounds like directions to me: like how a script would go if it were to be a play (maybe this is why it's a movie). This is how the entire book is set up, by the way.

I won't be reading Insurgent (the next book) anytime soon because--according to my sister--it is just like Divergent. I'm glad I didn't abandon this book, although I was considering it. I hope the next book I read exceeds my expectations.

The similarity between Book burning and Simulation Serum

While I was reading Divergent, I found a line that reminded me of Fahrenheit 451. That line is: "She is more machine than maniac. She sees problems and forms solutions based on the data she collects... Divergence is just another problem for her to solve, and that is what makes her so terrifying- because she is smart enough to solve anything," (Roth 432). For all of you who haven't read Divergent yet, Tris (the main character) is talking about Jeanine, the leader of Erudite (the smart faction). So far, Jeanine has invented a serum that she used to create an army from the Dauntless by controlling them. She didn't know, however, that her invention doesn't work on Divergents. For Jeanine, this is quite a dilemma. Like Tris says, Jeanine is terrifying. Not because she is not the kindest (and most attractive) person in the world, but because she uses her knowledge to her advantage: She wanted to control the other factions, so she made a mind-controlling serum. She wanted an army, so she made one out of Dauntless. Jeanine has proved that she can do just about anything because her knowledge gives her power.

This line reminds me of the theme "knowledge is power" we studied in class while reading Fahrenheit 451. Tris explained that Jeanine gets what she wants by outsmarting her opponents. That is why she is a big threat to Tris and Tobias (both Divergents). In Fahrenheit 451, books were forbidden. Why? It's probably because books contain ideas that are threatening to the government. Jeanine uses her power in a corrupted, egocentric way, but if Tris and Tobias can get their act together and use their knowledge to their advantage, they too can be as powerful as Jeanine and stop her from controlling society.

The similarity in theme between Fahrenheit 451 and Divergent.

http://www.ibmsystemsmag.com/ibmi/trends/whatsnew/Knowledge-is-Power/

The Narrator

The narrator of Divergent is Tris, so obviously, she would be a reliable source of information because she tells her experiences to the reader as they happen. Sometimes she doens't completely reveal all of her thoughts if they make her feel uncomfortable, which helps us understand her personality better. But overall, she allows us to live her experiences with her.

This idea is demonstrated all over the place. For example, on just a random page in the book, it says, "A weight in my chest lifts. I didn't realize it was there until it was gone, and I didn't have to feel it anymore. I smile, and a tingling spreads through me. First. Divergent or not, this faction is where I belong" (Roth 413).

It's pretty clear that Tris doesn't keep any of her thoughts from the reader. As seen in this quote she uses lots of imagery, symbolism, ect. ect. to make the audience feel like they are there with her.

Minor Character

Tris' older brother, Caleb, is a minor character in Divergent by Veronica Roth. He is introduced in the very beginning of the book as being very close to Tris.

SPOILER ALERT
However, Tris and Caleb split after the Choosing Ceremony; Caleb joins Erudite and Tris joins Dauntless, which means they can almost never see each other again.

Later on, Tris starts to really miss her family. She remembers her mother telling her to visit Caleb, so she hops on a train to Erudite to go see him.

She doesn't recognize him at first with his new  environment.

On page 354, it says, "His voice hardens. 'I think you should go, Beatrice.' 'With pleasure,' I say." (Roth 354). Tris says this after the two start talking poorly about each other's factions, so obviously, there's tension, and it's all caused by the pride within the factions.

Caleb is  an important minor character in the story because he is the one that truely convinces the reader  that there needs to be change in the government system because families are being torn apart. During this section of the book, Roth appeals to the audiences' emotions. It's sad and hard to imagine this world where siblings turn against each other. It makes the message even more effective.

Vocabulary

While reading Divergent, I have definitely noticed a pattern in the author's writing style.

Divergent is written in first person: through the eyes of Tris, the main character. This detail is very important in the word choices of the entire book because Tris is fairly young and her vocabulary isn't really that mature or advanced. This is probably why a younger audience enjoys this book because it actually "speaks their language".

This technique has been used throughout the entire book. There are many examples of the use of informal diction (especially in dialog) in every chapter I've read so far. I found an example that says, "'I'm thinking I might want a job like Four's. Training initiates,' she says. 'Scaring the living daylights out of them. You know, fun stuff. What about you?" (Roth 409).

I'm pretty sure you wouldn't find "You know, fun stuff" in very serious literature.

Veronica Roth's way of using diction that is used in conversation everyday helps me relate to the situation as if I were in it, which makes the story a lot more enjoyable.

However, using informal diction all the time isn't necessarily a good thing. In Divergent, I've seen many uses of elevated/formal diction, words that aren't in my vocabulary. Mixing up formal and informal makes the writing more interesting. I think that's one of the reasons Divergent is so hard to put down.

Themes Revealed

In chapter thirty-one in Divergent, Tobias makes an important statement that pretty much sums up the theme for everything I have read so far. He states, "'We've all started to put down the virtues of the other factions in the process of bolstering our own. I don't want to do that. I want to be brave, and selfless, and smart, and kind, and honest" (Roth 405).

Each of the characteristics Tobias mentions (brave, selfless, smart, ect.) are the values of each faction.

For a while now, we understand that Tris is struggling being Divergent. She doesn't quite understand why she can't have multiple virtues. This is why she is Divergent to begin with. This quote picks up all those thoughts from Tris and puts them into a simple statement.

Veronica Roth definitely reveals theme through the characters: their struggles, ideas, actions, ect. as seen in this quote. I also believe that this is why she decided to write this book. She may have felt a need to let people know that we shouldn't sort ourselves into one group just based on one of our characteristics because it doesn't end up well. Only focusing on your faction or one skill doesn't create a functioning society: diversity should be valued.